I think I figured it out

29 Aug 2014 02:12 pm
Posted by: Donna

So there I was, with my insomnia, watching Craig Ferguson Wednesday night, when what did I see but this ri-donk-ulous ad from the Republican Governor’s Association. It claimed that Fred DuVal personally and single-handedly raised college tuition rates in Arizona an astronomical amount while serving on the Board of Regents. My first thought was that this is a brazen Swiftboating of DuVal, one that not only attacks one of his biggest strengths as a candidate (education), but will also get by the fact-checkers with an “inconclusive” rating because it’s technically true that tuition went up while DuVal served as a Regent. Conveniently omitted is the fact that the Legislature, not the Regents, were the ones who cut funding per college student by one third since 2007. What a bunch of lying scumwads, thought I.

But Jon Thompson, the communications director of the RGA, disagrees.

Thompson, however, was not backing down, insisting the hikes weren’t necessary.

“He had a clear choice,” Thompson said. “DuVal chose to raise costs, making college more unaffordable for middle class families.”

Thompson, a North Carolina native currently residing in DC who has spent his entire career being a Republican ad guy and publicist, is clearly the foremost expert on Arizona college funding so if he says Fred DuVal unilaterally commanded that college tuition was going up, for no reason, by gum that what must have happened! Obviously I need to rethink my assumptions.

Here’s the entirely plausible scenario I came up with for how Fred DuVal gets the entire blame for the tuition hikes:

DuVal arrived at his first Board of Regents meeting in 2007 hopped up on speed and possibly a marijuana cigarette. After the minutes were read, Fred whipped out his gold plated cigar cutter custom engraved by Bill and Hillary Clinton and proceeded to slaughter the entire rest of the board members. DuVal then scrawled LOBBYING IS GROOVY on the wall with their blood. Then he was the only Regent ever again and spent his days maniacally raising tuition and giving all the money to ACORN, La Raza, and Planned Parenthood.

And now you know the rest of the story. Thanks, Obama.

1 Comment(s)

  1. Comment by Not A Troll on August 31, 2014 4:39 pm

    Tiny Hippo http://i.imgur.com/dF00m.jpg

Comments RSS TrackBack Identifier URI

Leave a comment

Democratic Diva is proudly powered by WordPress and WPDesigner.