This Clean Elections Publicity statement is made of win!

30 Jul 2010 02:17 pm
Posted by: Donna

Okay, so there are two Republicans vying for State Senate in LD23. Steve Smith is the boilerplate Tea Party candidate:

Booooooorrring.

Luckily there’s a snazzier choice in Matt Byers.

It gets funnier every time you read it. Try it in different voices. Matt Byers, you are the single greatest thing to happen to Clean Elections. May you scuba dive your way into the hearts of Pinal County Republican voters with your superbly awesome rhetorical skillz.

8 Comments

  1. Comment by Tom Prezelski on July 30, 2010 4:27 pm

    “Prestigious Arizona State University?” Last time I checked, ASU in the 1980s had a reputation as a party school.

  2. Comment by Diane D'Angelo on July 30, 2010 6:29 pm

    Does he like quiet walks on the beach? Romantic conversations by a cozy fire?

  3. Comment by Matt Byers on July 30, 2010 9:27 pm

    Personally, I hear the guy who voices NFL films saying it. It’s my wish NFL films perform my eulogy too, just not for a long while.

  4. Comment by Mark DeSimone on July 31, 2010 5:06 pm

    Boy has Pinal County changed since I lived there. A bio like that would have got your head dunked in a toilet back in the 80’s.

  5. Comment by Steve Byers on July 31, 2010 10:50 pm

    Thats my little brother.

  6. Comment by dude on August 1, 2010 6:49 pm

    Yeah but, where does he stand on fiscal policy? (hint: the only answer is “more tax cuts”)

  7. Comment by Mark DeSimone on August 2, 2010 7:54 am

    This really is great! I have come back to re-read this again and again. Just like you said.

  8. Comment by J McKellips on August 2, 2010 10:39 am

    It’s true, Mark; back in the 80s there were marauding gangs of ne’er-do-wells, who would chase down anyone who wrote creative, interesting, inspirational, or otherwise threatening Bios and then proceed to stick their head in the nearest toilet, which in those days, was two counties away.

    Pull that plunger off your head, Mark, it’s interfering with your brain waves.

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