To distract us from our current Gubernatorial sorrows: My Morning with Libertarians.

20 Nov 2008 04:55 pm
Posted by: Donna

I know we’re all full of ansgt over the impending departure of Gov. Napolitano and the ensuing possibility of a complete takeover of Arizona government by the outer right fringe of Wackaloonia, but what’s a Diva gonna do? 

I’ll tell you what this carrot-topped Diva did on the cusp of her 40th birthday:  Agreed to join a breakfast panel discussion about the election, to provide the Democratic perspective.   Not the first time I’ve done something like that but this time the panel included a prominent local Libertarian.   I’d been asked to do it by my friend who runs the twice monthly event.   He’s a lefty but is very welcoming to people from all over the political spectrum.

Sigh.  As most of y’all know, the single most freaking annoying person on the planet is a Libertarian.   And the only thing more annoying than a Libertarian is a bunch of them in the same place.  A group of Libertarians applies a force multiplier effect to the stupidosity of the ideas of each individual Libertarian, culminating in this sort of hive mind Echo Chamber of Dumb thing that makes every unfortunate soul in its noxious presence want to kill him/herself.   This is only a slight exaggeration.  Much to my consternation, at least half of the assembled attendees at the breakfast were Libertarians. 

The meeting started at 7:30am and after a few introductions and pleasantries we proceeded to get down to the panel discussion.  The Republican started and spoke for a few minutes about the national and local races.  I followed him and did the same from the Democratic side.  

Then came the Libertarian dude.   Oh lordy.   See Divas, there’s a reason that Libertarians rarely hold elective office.   Aside from the fact that they embrace an economic and political ideology that has never worked anywhere outside of an Ayn Rand novel, there is also the fact that no Libertarian has ever stopped making florid soliliquies and ill-formed rants about the Fed and fiat currencies long enough to show anything resembling an actual interest in governance.   Some of them love to run for stuff, though.   Libertarian Speaker Dude is a perennial candidate.  He’s run for something pretty much every 2 years since I’ve lived in Arizona.   At the same time he proudly admits that he hasn’t voted for years and that the whole notion of elected government is a farce.   He was quite entertaining, as he churned out one metaphor-laden analogy after another, none of which made any sense nor had any relevance to the recent election.

The Q and A session that followed was a grueling two hour root canal wherein I was bombarded with questions from the Libertarians about Obama’s “missing” birth certificate.  I made a futile attempt to explain that Philip Berg, the attorney who is making the case to the Supreme Court that Obama is not a U.S. citizen is, a) a well known litigious nuisance and b) pursuing an argument utterly devoid of merit.   This did not deter my interrogators in the slightest.   They proceeded to demand to know what would happen IF Obama was proven not to be a U.S. citizen.  At this point even the Republican was getting annoyed.  Finally, in exasperation, I surmised that unicorns might fly out of all of our butts at some point in the future and maybe we could cross that bridge when we got to it. 

As I suggested before in a previous post, Libertarians are essentially Republicans minus some of the moralizing*.   That’s pretty much true except that Libertarians really cling to the free market religion.   I mean, take the most hardcore Republican politician or businessman you can imagine.   You know that he doesn’t really believe all that hooey about free markets.   “Free market” means “fill my greedy pockets with everyone else’s money and use the barrel of a Government gun to accomplish it, if need be” to him.  But my Libertarian breakfast companions have slurped down tumblers of the Milton Friedman koo-koo koolaid.  Here’s what one of them had to say about the role of government:

“You know what I say to people who ask how the roads would be built without the government? I tell them that if the government had gotten out of the way we’d have personal jet packs by now!

Whee!  Overdosing on science fiction can be unhealthy.  I’m just saying.  Anyway, it got to be 10:30 and I was getting ready to start drinking if I stayed a minute longer so I skedaddled.

*A surprisingly large percentage of Libertarian males are anti-choice. I have my theories as to why this is but I was tempted to ask some of the breakfast guests about it. Of course, I refrained because I’ve learned through painful personal experience to never ask a Libertarian anything.  Ever.


  1. Comment by wow. on November 21, 2008 1:08 pm

    no one has ever matched my loathing of libertopians or libertopianism… until now.

    come, let us drink regulated alcohol and cackle about the secret government jetpacks we’ve been given because we’ve been such good defenders of the kleptocracy.

    I say that second part in sarcasm. I hate libertarians, and if you ever run for office again I will donate the maximum to your campaign.

  2. Comment by Zelph on November 22, 2008 4:40 pm

    I see you enjoyed your visit to the Arizona Breakfast Club with Ernie. Always big fun to be had.

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